some more muttering!

I am not a great writer, but I aspire to become one someday. People of my age have achieved so much that I feel so small and useless... I think I should stop being so self derogatory and muster up some courage in what I am doing. I dont need this world's approval all the time. I try to polish myself by learning from my mistakes. I hope this is a step towards becoming a better person rather than just thinking about the problems I have and split my head into two with extreme tension. I do try to improve my vocab, but for that I have to be a voracious reader. I have been completely cut off from my reading habit because of my work and because i am dependent on my brothers to get me some "food for thought" in my hands! sigh...